


Happy Birthday Spider Butt

by Rainbow_Swirl



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday, Disappointment, Disapproving Family, Disaprove, Fluff, High School, High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Swirl/pseuds/Rainbow_Swirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Peter's 17th birthday, and his dads find out he's dating someone. Peter is forced to invite him over for dinner, but he doesn't know how his dads will react to his mercenary boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday Spider Butt

**Author's Note:**

> Hey after reading be sure to comment so I know your thoughts, so I can improve and make a better product.

On his nightstand Peter's alarm beeped causing him to roll over and groan aloud. He didn't want to wake up or do anything, but after a few minutes he begrudgingly rolled out of bed.   
"Good morning master Peter, happy 17th birthday."   
Peter had completely forgot today was his birthday.  
"Thanks Jarvis."  
Peter smiled his mood improved a bit. He walked over to his closet and picked out his favorite Captain America tee, a hoodie Wade had left, and dark jeans.  
Grabbing his backpack he walked into the living room to see his Pops was making pancakes and eggs.  
"Morning Pete happy birthday, any plans for tonight ?"  
"No not really but can you make a special birthday dinner."  
“Of course anything for the birthday boy."  
Peter smiled as he sat down at the bar and poured himself a cup of juice. As he sipped it he felt his phone buzz in his pocket he took it out and smiled at the text he got from Wade  
-happy birthday baby boy I'm gonna stop by your school today so we can eat lunch together , I love you spider butt-   
Peter chuckled and blushed lightly at the last part. Tony walks in and ruffles Peter's hair.  
“Happy birthday champ. I see we went Captain America today why couldn't you wear one of the nice Iron Man ones I got you?”  
Peter just laughs at this and finishes up his pancakes.  
“I always knew I was your favorite."  
Steve says as he walks past them into the living room. Peter zips up the hoodie and picks up his backpack.  
“Hey Pete where'd you get that hoodie? It looks way too big for you and I don't remember buying it for you."   
Peter freezes and starts to panic. He can't tell his dads that he's dating Wade Wilson, a mercenary, not just any mercenary, Deadpool one of the most infamous mercenaries in their time. If they found out he'd have no idea how they'd react.   
“U-um hey Pops thanks for the breakfast, but Dad if I don't go soon I'll be late for school. Bye!"   
Peter was out the door and in the elevator before Tony could even respond.  
When Peter finally got to school he had calmed down a bit. Gwen and Harry were at his locker waiting for him.  
“Happy Birthday Petey!" Gwen exclaimed pulling him into a tight hug. “Congrats on the big 1 7!"   
Harry said lightly patting Peter's shoulder.  
"Thanks guys having friends like you is all I could want I don't know what could make this day better."  
He turned to open his locker, when he did confetti exploded out and about 50 origami swans flooded out onto the floor. On the top shelf there was box with the tag.  
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETEY SEE YOU AT LUNCH ,WADE-  
Peter cautiously opened the box hoping it wouldn't explode. He took off the lid to see two plushies a Deadpool and a Spiderman. Peter smiled at the sweetness of the gift. Peter stuffed his needed books in his backpack and put the plushies back in the box. Gwen shuffled through her bag and pulled something out.  
" Here it's a tote consider it my present to you. You can put those swans in it." Peter smiled happy he had so many people who cared for him.   
“Thanks Gwen"   
he carefully filled up the bag, and headed to his first period with Harry. When he got there a huge balloon bouquet was at the front of the room with the words like : HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETER, and 17 on some of the balloons Peter just sighed and shook his head why should he expect anything less from Wade.  
By the time lunch came around Peter had 17 balloons tied to his backpack, a tote full of origami swans, a gift box with the two plushies, a gift bag full of Peter's favorite snacks, and box of fancy chocolates. Peter sighed a sigh of relief when he finally sat down pushing his backpack off his shoulders. He sat at a table outside and waited for Wade, snacking on some of the Pocky from the gift bag. After a few minutes Wade ran over to where Peter was sitting carrying a brown Paper bag still in full uniform.  
" Sorry Petey I was trying to hunt down this hit man when I realized what time it was then I stopped at our favorite taco stand to pick up food, then I ran straight here."  
Peter smiled warmly standing up to hug Wade and kissing his cheek through the mask.   
" Wade with all you've done for me today all these wonderful gifts I couldn't possibly be upset with you. "   
They sat down Peter grabbed a burrito and Wade took out his chimichanga.  
" Wade I have no idea how I'm gonna carry this home."  
Wade just swallowed and smiled  
" don't worry that problem will be solved by the present you'll get in 7th period" Peter looked at him shocked  
"there's more!"   
Wade stood up when he heard the bell  
“of course there's more I wouldn't want to get anything less than the best  
for my Petey."  
Peter picked up his stuff and leaned in for a quick kiss  
before going back inside. As Wade had promised there was more in each  
class: an Edible Arrangement in 5th, in 6th a giant teddy bear with a photo  
album with cute pictures from every date they've gone on (Peter didn't  
even know Wade was taking a picture in half of them), and in 7th was a  
large red wagon with collectors editions of some of Peter's favorite  
books.   
He placed all the gifts he held in his arms on the wagon  
grateful that Wade ha thought he'd be over loaded with gifts. Peter  
walked home with a smile on face happy he had such a great thoughtful  
boyfriend. He rode up the elevator and walked into the residents  
level of Stark towers smile still on his face.   
He had planned on walking straight to his room and waiting for his special dinner to be ready when Steve stopped him in the entrance way.  
" Hey Pete how was schoo-"  
Steve stared at the massive amount gifts Peter had  
accumulated.  
" Peter, where'd you get all this stuff ?"  
Peter started to panic again.  
" u-uh friends?"  
Peter walks past Steve hoping he'll drop the topic, but Steve follows him cutting him off in the living room where Tony sat on the couch using his newest Stark tablet.  
" Woah Pete did you rob a Party City?"  
Peter just blushed and looked at the ground.  
" I told you Pops I got them from friends."   
Steve folds his arms.   
"Peter I can tell when you’re lying"  
" I'M NOT! "   
his voice cracked and his eyes started to water. If he told them there would be a chance he'd lose Wade forever. Wade was one of the best things to ever  
happen to Peter and he couldn't lose Wade. Especially not because of  
his dads judging him even though they don't even know him. Tony stood  
up and rubbed Peters back.  
" It's ok bud you can tell us. "  
Peter sighed knowing there was no way to avoid this.  
" my boyfriend"  
Peter muttered "what?" Tony and Steve both looked at him confused.  
" My boyfriend gave this stuff to me!"   
He practically shouted.   
" Is that why you didn't want to tell us, because you didn't want us to know  
you're gay?"  
Tony scoffs " I could've told you that."  
"TONY!" Steve says in disbelief.   
Peter’s eyes start to sting and tears brim on the edges threatening to spill out. He manages to calmly say  
" I didn't want to tell you because I know that you won't like him."   
Steve puts his hand on Peter's shoulder.  
"We'll love anyone you love Peter as long as he loves you and treats you right which based on all the stuff you got is true. You know what why not invite him over for your birthday dinner? You've been together long enough for that kind of thing haven't you?"  
Tony nods in agreement " I'm sure we'll love whoever he is."   
Peter sighs and gives up " fine. "  
Steve perks up " great! I'll make extra pasta."  
Peter goes to his room finding a place for everything Wade bought, then flopping down on the bed groaning aloud. He picks up his phone and texts Wade.  
Peter- My dads found out I have a boyfriend and they want you over for dinner  
Wade- That's great finally get to meet the people who birthed the most  
perfect being on Earth  
Peter- Wade you know I'm adopted, and anyways I know there not gonna like you  
Wade- aww I’m hurt I thought everybody loved me  
Peter- I mean because you’re Deadpool , you know the mercenary who my  
dads aren't very fond of.  
Wade- it'll be fine Peter I'll try my best to make a good impression  
Peter- ok, fine be here at 6 and wear something nice.  
Peter put his phone down on his bed and got up he started pacing his  
room until he was lost deep in thought thinking of every possible  
scenario that could make this evening go wrong. He really wanted his  
dads to like Wade he just hoped they'd give him a chance and look past  
what's on the outside and get to know what's on the inside, but not  
too deep inside that they realize that he's slightly mentally  
unstable.  
When Peter finally dug himself outside of his thoughts it was 6:04. He started to rush around fixing his hair,and straightening his shirt, before running into the  
living room to see Steve and Tony setting the table.  
" ok you guys I'm gonna go wait downstairs for him please don't freak out and give him a chance."   
Before either of them have a chance to reply Peter was in the  
elevator heading down to the main level floor to greet Wade. Wade was  
already in the lobby when Peter got there. Peter didn't recognize him  
at first because he was sitting slouched over with his hood pulled up  
over a baseball cap.  
" Wade?" He looks up surprised " oh hey Petey "  
Wade stands up and follows Peter into the elevator.  
" I thought I told you to dress nice."   
Wade unzips his hoodie and takes of his hat to show Peter that he's wearing a dark blue sweater with a grey plaid shirt underneath. " I didn't want to freak anybody out on my way here I rarely go out when I'm not in costume."   
Peter smiled and kissed his cheek .  
"Well you look nice Wade, this really means alot to me."   
The Elevator binged as the doors opened on the 42 floor. Peter grabbed  
Wade’s hand and took a deep breath.  
" Dad, Pops Wade is here."   
Peter walked into the living room where Steve was on the couch sketching. He  
put down his sketch book and looked up in shock. Wade’s face was  
covered in scars and looked as though it might have been burned he  
wondered if this was why Peter didn't want them to meet him.  
Steve gathered himself and stood up and put out his hand.  
" Steve Rogers it’s a pleasure to finally meet you Wade."   
" Captain Creamscicle it's a pleasure to be in your presence. Wow I can practically feel the freedom radiating from your bones."   
Steve force a smile and led them into the dining room to sit down.  
" Jarvis can you call Tony up from his lab?"   
"Of course sir."   
Steve walked into the kitchen and brought over the plates of pasta, chicken, and vegetables placing them on the table. Tony walked out of the elevator and into the dining room taken aback a bit by Wade’s appearance but quickly covered up the surprised look on his face and tried to be nice for Peter's sake.   
" Nice to meet you."  
They all sit down and made plates of food and started eating, an awkward silence loomed over the table. Wade finished his food quickly and decided against wiping his mouth on his hands then his hands on his  
pants. He picked up the napkin and wiped his mouth and hands.  
Peter smiled at him warmly then grabbed his hand and held it under the  
table.  
"Sooo..." Steve finally spoke up breaking the silence.  
" Tell us about yourself Wade"  
" Well I was born in the good ole country of Canada, entered the US military, quit after I got cancer, and I've been roaming around the states ever since" Wade smiled proud he had avoided any mercenary talk. Peter just gulped nervously.  
" oh how old are you Wade? You'd have to be at least 18 to join the military." Peter spoke up to make sure Wade didn't say anything stupid.  
" He's 24. " Tony choked on his chicken. "24! Peter you just turned 17 how long have you two been dating?"   
Peter hung his head he had said the wrong thing they already had their opinion of Wade ruined before they even knew the worst part. Wade spoke up oblivious to the tension at the table.  
" Well let me think we started dating after baby boy turned 16 soooo a year in about a month!"   
Steve and Tony looked at him in utter disbelief.  
" You've been dating for almost a year and you didn't tell us!" Tony yelled.  
" well I didn't tell you cause I knew you'd have a problem with us dating!"   
Steve sighs and tried to make an attempt to calm them down.   
" So Peter how'd you guys meet?" Peter knew he'd have to tell him so he just says the truth.  
" Well I was out on patrol when I ran into Wade he's actually a hero himself" Peter paused giving them a chance to register.   
Tony spoke up first. " oh do we know him"  
" yes you know who he is, anyway I was out on patrol when Wade  
recommend we team up I didn't really want to because of his rep but it  
was fun and we started teaming up so often that we became friends then  
more than friends."  
Steve smiled the story reminded him of how he and Tony got together. “ so who is this mysterious hero?“   
Wade got bored of just sitting there and finally piped up. “I’m Deadpool aka the merc with a mouth. I’ll talk your head off then chop it off for good measure!” Steve and Tony’s jaws dropped.  
“nope absolutely not we may have been able to deal with the age gap, but Peter you can’t date a mercenary. He kills people for money I don’t want that kind of guy around you.”   
Peter stood up yelling across the table.  
“You don’t think I know that you don’t think I know what he’s done? Dad Wade hasn’t killed anyone for almost a year! It was the only reason I agreed to go out with him. Sure he’s still a bounty hunter, but he only takes in people alive because he knows how much this means to me!”   
Tears were brimming at Peter’s eyes, but he refused to let them spill out. He refused to show weakness.  
“Tony can I talk to you. Alone.” Steve gets up and takes Tony with him.   
“Tony you have to give Wade a chance they’ve been dating for a long time and they love each other. Wade gave up killing for Peter.”   
Tony’s frown didn’t falter. “ I don’t want him near Peter what if he hurts Peter or is just using him for some sick mind game?”  
Steve smiled and rubbed Tony’s shoulder lovingly pulling him into a hug effectively calming him down.  
“ Peter is grown Tony he’s old enough to make his own decisions. Besides if Wade was just playing with him he would have dumped Peter by now.”  
Tony sighed and pulled out of the hug.  
“ I guess you’re right we should get to properly know him, but if he ever hurts Peter I will not hesitate to blast him into ashes then spread those ashes across the Arctic Ocean so he can never regenerate.”  
Steve just leans down and kisses Tony’s cheek.  
“ come on let's go tell Peter.”  
Steve walked in first to make sure he could talk first knowing Tony would say some snarky comment and make things worse. When they got into the dining room Wade was hugging Peter and rubbing his back comforting him.  
“ Peter we decided we want a chance to get to know Wade better for who is not for who we think he is.” Peter got up from the table pulling his dads into a hug. “Thank you so much you don’t know how much this means to me.”  
Peter pulled back and smiled at his dads. Tony ruffled his hair and Steve put a hand on his shoulder.   
“ I’m gonna see Wade out. Ok.”  
“Sure we’d love to have you over again Wade for a less hostile introduction. we’re just happy that Peter found someone who can make him happy.”  
Peter walked over to Wade grabbing his hand.  
“ Let’s go Wade.” With that they walked to the elevator and went back down to the lobby.  
Tony walked to their bedroom Steve followed close behind. Tony sat on the bed picking up his tablet checking the tower cameras and looking down at the lobby to see Peter and Wade in a deep make out session. He pressed the mic button and yelled into it.   
“No fonduing in my lobby!”   
Peter pulled away instantly turning a deep shade of red. He gave Wade a quick peck on the cheek and Wade left.  
“ I think he’s gonna grow on us” Steve said.  
“ More like creep up and infest us like some kind of kudzu slowly sucking the life out of us.”  
Steve just laughed and pulled Tony close to him.  
“I think it’s time for some fonduing of our own.”  
Tony smiled and they ducked under the covers.   
Peter sat in his room disgusted at the sounds he was hearing from his dad’s room. Putting a pillow over his head he tried to drown out the sounds of his dad’s love making. Though secretly he was still happy, and nothing could take that away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys thanks for reading please comment I want to know what you thought about this. Thanks so much


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